Happy Canada Day everyone! I am working. It’s nice. I hear the bagpipes faintly right from my desk.

To celebrate Canadianana day, I have decided to share with you a few of my pet peeves. Why? Because people insist on irritating me when I am perfectly happy and content. And so, I want to share. It lightens the burden, you know.

Things that cause me to twitch, groan, scream, snarl, or stomp my feet in agonized irritation:

• When people add a “t” to the word “across”. It is across. “Acrosst” isn’t a word.  You sound like an idiot. I will admit that this is almost the slightest little bit adorable.
• When I forget to clean the cutlery at work, then the next day, I have to deal with a soup-encrusted spoon.
• Loud talkers who insist on shouting out entire sentences. I’m not inclined to believe you faster if you shout at me. And your mom would tsk tsk you.
• LOUD WRITERS, THE ONES WHO SHOUT AT YOU IN FULL SENTENCES, NAY, PARAGRAPHS! IN WRITING.  Dude. I can’t read that.
• People who insist on kidding around with me using terrible jokes while I’m obviously in full concentration working mode. I don’t want to waste time when I’m doing something. If I break my concentration, it just means I’ll have to re-familiarize myself with the case and have to do the same work over again. No thank you.
• People who add “ir” to front of the word “regardless,” and use it in the same context as “regardless”. Stop. Stop that right now. May your armpits be infested with the fleas of a thousand camels.