As any good houseowner with a yard knows, once you get to owning a yard, you get to a point where you decide you want to maintain it. You want to plant things, see them grow. You want to take credit for the beauty and upkeep of your lawn. You want it to remain green. And so, you get the necessary accoutrements in order to begin.

Yesterday afternoon, Doug and I went shopping for our respective tools. He, a lawnmower and weed whacker. I, a couple of garden diggy mathingys, and a large wide-rimmed sunhat:

Now, it must be said. The hat is enormous. It flops to and fro, sits snugly on my head, and a stiff breeze would carry me over to England.

This is at the top of the list of reasons I love it.

That, and the fact that it affords me protection from the sun and bugs, as well as a fashionable accessory with which to project authority. If the plants think I mean business, maybe they will refuse to die, stubbornly. Or be intimidated by my hat.

I would be, if I was not me and it was not my hat. And if I was a plant. Maybe.

The only problem I have encountered thus far, is that I am having difficulty differentiating weeds from actual… desirable plants.

I will admit that this is a rather significant problem.

But! I am armed with two books, never mind that they’re packed. And I have the knowledge and expertise of the internet at my disposal.

So what I’m saying is, just give me time. Give me time.

Best to have this in writing: if I actually do kill every plant in the yard, Doug has already stated that this is okay. He doesn’t mind. He will not disown me.

Ahh, the joys of owning your own house and garden and shed and tools and sunhat. They just keep pouring in.