Dear Therese

Dear Thérèse,

Today you are 27.  Welcome to pressure.

That's right, pressure.  I say, your mother has been going on about how when SHE was 27, she had you.  Hinting heavily, in other words. I'm here to tell you that first of all she doesn't know how to count, because she was 28 when she had you, and second of all, doesn't matter. Not the same world, after all.  Don't worry about that.

The other thing that seems to come up is face cremes.  You tell someone how old you are, they say "oh, you must be looking into face creams now, eh? ha ha".  Har har, I say.  Although those kinds of comments may seem insensitive, I'll remind you that you actually DID invest in some nice face cream a few months ago (sigh), and that just this passed Saturday, someone accused you of being 20 years old.  Face cream indeed.

So! Now that we have that out of the way, let's review this passed year, shall we?

In the passed year, you have gone through a LOT.  First of all, six of the passed 12 months have been spent unemployed.  Shocker, that, really. I mean, you're so talented, and educated, and employable! It's almost an embarrassing state of things, for everyone ELSE.  You're wonderful, and doing nothing glaringly wrong.  (Don't wonder about that, OK?  I know, I've checked with many sources of authority.) In any case, this lengthy spell of non-working has taken its toll on you, in some really great ways.  You quit a job that made you completely unhappy last year, you found a job you really liked, wherein they payed for you to move to a completely different city, province, climate.  You spent many a day in self-reflection. You really and truly learned the value of a dollar.  You got to know more of your family.  You figured out a plan to climb out of debt and got halfway there.  You became completely and totally financially independent for the first time in your life, running to no one for help, but more importantly, not needing to run to anyone for help.  That's a lot to have learned, in one year.

Most important of all, though, even more important that those other things you learned, is what you figured out about yourself.  You finally owned up to the fact that you're a writer, you want to be a writer, it's all you ever really cared about on any deeper level.  And you started making some real decisions and real moves toward your goal.  In July, you joined a writing group, where you met your first writer-friend, who reads your pages and whose pages you read in return.  That relationship, though borne out of a mutual need and understanding, has been really instrumental in keeping you on track and progressing.  Nothing like a friend to keep you accountable.  In August, you gave yourself a deadline.  One year to finish a manuscript.  Your deadline is August 28th, 2008. 

So far, you have outlined the book in great detail, and written a total of four chapters.  Six others have been sketched out and begun, but need editing before being fit for human consumption.  This experience has been one of the most interesting, exciting and rewarding experience you've had so far.  The support you've seen from Doug, well, that's been beautiful.  The encouragement you've felt from others, that has been priceless.  I know you have always written, and have always had a tendency to leave things unfinished, but this is different. This is planned, this is out there, this is good, and most importantly, this means something to you.  You'll see it through, and I'm looking forward to the 28 year old you, who has a book finished, and is going through the cycle of the publication process, at one point or another.

Another very important thing that happened in this passed year, is that you moved in with your boyfriend, something you never, ever, ever thought you'd do.  You realized that flexibility is important in a relationship, a relationship is organic and needs attention, and things are so wonderful when you're in love, so much more wonderful, that it seems you can do, be, plan, find, see… everything.  Doug is quite possibly the love of your life, and boy oh boy was he worth waiting for.  The fact that you didn't compromise any part of yourself or your thoughts or your values on the way just makes it that much more delicious of a reward.  Think back to those moments of decision, where you stuck with what you knew you wanted.  Now, you're completely satisfied with having made those decisions, and it's a sweet, sweet feeling.  Better than all of that, though, and something you hoped for but never quite expected to get, was the fact that he loves you. The you you want to be, the you you are, and the you you have always been, under whatever facade you've presented, in whatever situation you've been in.  That's something special and rare, in and of itself.

Of all the years you've lived so far, this one has without a doubt been the one with the highest highs and the lowest lows.  Congratulations.  Life experience has found you, and it wasn't even so painful that it left too many scars.

I'm really looking forward to what comes next.

Thérèse